Cowboys at Fawlt
by yummyjellybean
Summary: A space cowboy is stranded on Earth and happens upon a rather scatty British hotel. Mal/Basil - Captain Malcolm Reynolds/Mr Fawlty


**Chapter 1  
The Cavalry Comes to Stay**

Mal walked up the unfamiliar road surveying the area, avoiding people. The situation was really beginning to seem ridiculous. He had been stranded on this godforsaken rock for too long, with no idea what part of the 'verse he was in. He pushed his hair back, his fingers getting caught in his matted hair; three nights in the open air was making him a lot dirtier than most folk he had seen in the past few days. He pulled his collar up and walked a bit further up the road, stopping at the sign he thought he had been looking for. "Watery Fowls", that don't seem right he thought to himself, but it was the first decent looking place he'd crossed over in days. He sighed, closing his eyes and walked towards the steps of the hotel gravely.

Basil sat down letting out a sigh of relief. Smiling to himself he chuckled and picked up his newspaper. Radio on, sandwiches ready, he relaxed. DING. He closed his eyes, straining to concentrate on the music coming through the radio, pretending he'd heard nothing. He opened his eyes again and read the first line of the article again. DING. He opened his eyes wider as if this would help concentrating. Sybil would come to the desk, Polly maybe, he really didn't need to, DING. "All right, all right!" he exclaimed haughtily. Leaping from his chair he spilt his sandwiches, he clenched his fists and shook his head, as if he might explode at any moment. Coming through the office door to reception he looked at the floor grumbling. He slapped his hands on the desk and looked up slowly, "Yes?" he said impatiently and stopped abruptly. Standing up straight and leaning back slightly, he tilted his head slightly and looked the man in front of him up and down.

"I need a place to stay, though I ain't plannin' on stayin' long," the man replied. Basil stared a while longer, the man in front of him looked like a cowboy! He wore a long brown coat and large black boots with so many buckles Basil began to wonder how long it took him to put them on every morning. He had been staring at the man quite a while when he coughed to get Basil's attention, "Sir?"

Basil shook his head and looked the man in the face, "I beg your pardon?" he said leaning over the desk peering at the man.

"I need a place to stay, and I ain't plannin'" the man began to repeat.

"Yes, yes," Basil interrupted waving his hand at him, "Well this is better than the hairdressers on Main Street," Basil said gesturing out the door, "And how long exactly is not long, one night, five minutes, the next week. These details really tend to help."

The man started to answer. "Name please," Basil cut in, pushing across a card for the man to fill in.

"Mal," the man said glaring shortly at Basil then filling in the card.

Straightening up and getting back on his best form Basil peered down his nose at the room bookings, sliding a finger down the page quickly he stepped back from the desk, "No! I'm sorry, no rooms," Basil said as quickly as possible.

"'Scuse me?" Mal said putting a hand on the desk.

"I-I…" Basil began.

"Basil, is there a problem dear?" Sybil said, her best smile on as she greeted Mal.

"I was just explaining that there's no rooms, _my darling,_" Basil said leaning down to whisper in her ear.

Sybil pushed his chest abruptly, making him stumble backward. Leaning over the room bookings she addressed Mal, "Sorry about that she said," humming a slight laugh. "Are you wanting a single or a double?"

"I ain't wantin' nothing to drink for the moment, thank you ma'am," Mal said politely.

"She means a bed," Basil said loudly, "you pillock," he muttered under his breath. Sybil gracefully stamped on his foot as she gracefully stepped past to get Mal's key.

"Here you are," she said gaily.

"Thank you ma'am," Mal said with a charming smile.

"Oooo how nice, a real gentlemen," her demeanour changed quickly, "I hope you're taking notes Basil," she said glancing him a serious look.

Basil spoke under his breath, holding out his hand for the card Mal had filled in. "Captain!" Basil exclaimed looking at the card, "Well, it's always nice to have such.. important people to stay!" He leapt past his wife and around the counter. "Can I get your bags?" he asked, excited at the thought of such good press for the hotel, a member of the navy!

"'Fraid I haven't got anthin' with me, but thank you anyway," Mal replied amused.

"I'll take you to your room!" Basil exclaimed, gesturing up the stairs like a prim waiter, with a wide accommodating grin on his face.

Mal followed, followed him up, glad for a chance of a shower and a warm bed.

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